Need a laugh? The Smiles will help you get through your day.

Weekend Smiles

Imponderables A stitch in time saves nine what? After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water? After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in? Are female moths called myths? Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors? Are there any unguided missiles? Are you breaking the law if you…

Weekend Smiles

Life explained On the first day, God created the dog and said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and  bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.” The dog said, “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten…

English Is A Crazy Language

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France… Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted, but if we explore…

Indy Smiles

Halloween Groaner A man was walking home alone one night when he heard a “BUMP….BUMP….BUMP…” behind him. Walking faster, he looked back, making out an image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him….”BUMP…BUMP…BUMP…” The man began to run toward his home, and the coffin boiunced  after him…

Weekend Smiles

The sayings of Steven Wright All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. OK, so what’s the speed of dark? How do you tell when you’re out of…

Weekend Smiles – July 29th, 2016

Life’s unanswered questions How does a shepherd count his flock without falling asleep? Are there female leprechauns? Do judges and lawyers do jury duty? Do fish sleep? Would it be possible for a solar car to travel faster then the speed of light? Why do all the days of the week end in “y”? Do…

Weekend Smiles

A guy has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scout. “This dog can speak English,” he claims to the unimpressed agent. “Okay, Sport,” the guys says to the dog, “what’s on the top of a house?” “Roof!” the dog replies. “Oh, come on…” the talent agent responds. “All dogs go ‘roof’.” “No,…

Weekend Smiles

That’s One Dead Duck… A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. She laid her pet on the table. The vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s heart. “I’m so sorry; your pet duck has passed away.” The distressed owner wailed “Are you sure?” “Yes, I’m sure. The duck…

Weekend Smiles

On July 1, 1958, Two men invented the radial tire. Everyone said that they made a nice spare. On July 2, 1950, Hair dye was first packaged for home use. It really got to the root of the problem. On July 3, 1903, The first chimney sweep was hired, and everyone said ”Soot yourself”. On…

Canada Day Smiles

You Might Be Canadian If Your municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials. You bring a portable TV on a camping trip so that you don’t miss Hockey Night. You can repeat the entire Molson’s Canadian ‘The Rant’. You know all the words to “If I had a million…