Weekend Smiles – July 29th, 2016

Life’s unanswered questions

How does a shepherd count his flock without falling asleep?

Are there female leprechauns?

Do judges and lawyers do jury duty?

Do fish sleep?

Would it be possible for a solar car to travel faster then the speed of light?

Why do all the days of the week end in “y”?

Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?

On a telephone, why does ABC start on the number 2 and not 1?

Do pigs pull ham strings?

Do dumped farmers get John Deere letters?

Why do radio operators say “niner” instead of just “nine”?

Why do people say heads up when you should duck?

Why did Superman wear his briefs on the outside of his tights?

Does anyone actually kill two birds with one stone?

Do NASCAR drivers need their license when their race?

Why do they call the clock where you punch your time card called a “time” clock? Aren’t all clocks “time” clocks?

Can dogs have dog days?

If you are born on February 29 of a leap year, when is your birthday?

Do Siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts?

Why is it at a Chinese restaurant an egg roll is called that when there is no egg in it?

Why do they call it 2% milk, if its 2% fat, not milk?

What do you say when someone says you’re in denial, but you’re not?

If you had x-ray vision, but closed your eyes, could you still see?

Have you ever thought what life would be like if your name was Anonymous? You’d get credit for everything nobody wanted credit for?

If a water spins clockwise when it drains in the northern hemisphere, and water spins counterclockwise when it drains in the southern hemisphere…which way does it spin at the equator?

If you own a piece of land and there is an volcano on it and it ruins a

nearby town, do you have to pay for the property damage?

If you have x-ray vision, and you can see through anything, wouldn’t you see through everything and actually see nothing?

If it is a 50 mph per hour wind and you drive your car at 50mph downwind, if you stick your head outside would you feel the wind?

Why does “closing up” a shop and “closing down” a shop mean the same thing?

Why do they call them “Animal Crackers” when there not even crackers…they’re cookies?

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

Have ex-cowboys become deranged?

Have ex-drycleaners become depressed?

How do you throw away a garbage can?

Why in baseball is it called the World Series if it is only played in the U.S.A & Canada?

Why do old men have hair in their ears?

Why are things typed up but written down?

Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?

In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end?

If you were on a plane going the speed of sound and walked from the back of the plane to the front, would you be walking faster than the speed of sound?

If the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

What does OK actually mean?

Why do we feel blue? and what color does a Smurf feel when they are down?

How do you handcuff a one-armed man?

Why is the abbreviation for pound lb. when l or b isn’t in the word pound?

Why doesn’t the glue in the bottle dry up?

If Luke took a bath, would the water be lukewarm?

If you decide that you’re indecisive, which one are you?

Why is it we have the weight of the world on our shoulders but have to get it off our chests?

Why does everyone speak different languages and have different accents if we all originally came from the same place?

Why do they call it a running back when he is running forward?

If you tell someone they are being judgmental aren’t you being judgmental yourself?

Why do they call it your “bottom”, when it’s really in the middle of your body?

How come no matter what color the liquid is, the froth is always white?

Why do British people never sound British when they sing?

Why do they call them guidance counselors when all counselors do is offer guidance?

Why do they call it “head over heels in love” If our head is always over our heels?

Can a hearse driver drive a corpse in the Car Pool lane?

If someone can’t see, they’re blind and if someone can’t hear, they’re deaf, so what do you call people who can’t smell?

How do they get those boats in those glass bottles?

Why would Superman want to leap over the tallest building in a single bound if he can fly?

Why is it called a TV set when there is only one?

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