Weekend Smiles

Frog at the bank

A frog is outgrowing his lily pad and decides to make some home improvements. He doesn’t have the money, so he hops to the bank to borrow some.

At the bank, he takes a seat at loan officer Patricia Black’s desk and explains his dilemma.

“I want to upgrade my lily pad, maybe add another window, but I don’t have the cash. Can you lend me the money?”

“Maybe. What can you offer as collateral?”

“Well,” says the frog. “All I have is this paperweight. You shake it up, and it snows on the little village. Cute, huh?”

“Hmm . . . I’ll have to speak to my manager.” She enters her manager’s office.

“Mr. Bitterby, I’ve got a frog at my desk who wants to borrow money for lily pad improvements. But all he can offer for collateral is this glass paperweight.”

Mr. Bitterby takes the paperweight, hefts it in his hand, looks at her and says, “It’s a knick-knack, Patty Black, give the frog a loan.”

A paint job

A woman answered the knock at her door and found a destitute man. He wanted to earn money by doing odd jobs, so she asked, “Can you paint?”

“Yes,” he said, “I’m a pretty good painter.”

“Well, here’s a gallon of green paint and a brush. Go behind the house and you’ll see a porch that needs repainting. Be very careful. When you are done, I’ll look it over and pay you what it’s worth.”

It wasn’t more than an hour before he knocked again. “All finished!” he reported with a smile.

“Did you do a good job?” she asked.

“Yes, but lady, there’s one thing I’d like to point out to you. That’s not a Porsche back there. That’s a Mercedes.”

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