Weekend Smiles

There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market. A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, but only a half head.

The shop assisant said he would go ask his manager about the matter.

He said to his manager, “There’s some idiot out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce.” As he was finishing saying this, he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, “and this gentleman wants to buy the other half.” The manager okayed the deal and the man went on his way.

Later the manager called on the boy and said, “You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from son?”

The boy replied, “Minnesota sir.”

“Oh really? Why did you leave Minnesota” asked the manager.

The boy replied, “They’re all just bimbos and hockey players up there.”

“Really?,” replied the manager, “My wife is from Minnesota!!”

The boy replied, “No kidding! What team did she play for?”

And the answer is..?

A stitch in time saves nine what?

After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in?

Are female moths called myths?

Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?

Are there any unguided missiles?

Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say “Do Not Pass”?

Are you telling the truth if you lie in bed?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop?

Can you get cavities in your dentures if you use too much artificial sweetener?

Could crop-circles be the work of a cereal killer?

Day light savings time – why are they saving it and where do they keep it?

Did Noah keep his bees in archives?

Do boxer shorts box?

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

Do clowns wear really big socks?

Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped?

Do fish get thirsty?

Do hummingbirds hum because they don’t know the words?

Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?

Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?

Do people in Australia call the rest of the world ‘up over’?

Do pilots take crash-courses?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4’s”?

Do Scottish Terriers get Scotch Tape worms?

Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?

Do steam rollers really roll steam?

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